


A Parasite Needs a Host

by rothbart



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (it's later in the story and it's almost not one but I'm being safe), Abuse, Domestic Violence, Emotional Trauma, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, Jaspidot - Freeform, Keep Them Unhappy Squad, READ THE TAGS THIS IS IMPORTANT, Sexual Abuse, Smut, Suicide Attempt, abusive jasper, dark themes, domestic abuse, im so sorry, jaspis - Freeform, lapidot - Freeform, tagging as I go from here on out, this is definitely primarily lapidot, this is so painful to write I can't imagine reading it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:44:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6024058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rothbart/pseuds/rothbart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To anybody who bothered to take even half a moment to look, the relentless abuse was as clear as day.</p><p>Still, it's all Peridot knows as far as relationships go. She's hurting but refuses to get out of the situation, so Lapis Lazuli has to step up and strike a deal with her abuser, effectively getting tied up into a human representation of everyone's favorite abomination, Malachite.</p><p>My first fic ever and some hardcore homeworld angst. I'm sorry.</p><p>Please for the love of all that is good and holy read the tags for your own sake and mine. I don't want anyone getting into something they weren't looking to get into. Only suffer in ways you sign up for, kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Met Me When the Sun Was Down

**Author's Note:**

> a prologue sort of chapter. the others will be longer and more quality.
> 
> leave some feedback, yo, I thrive on acknowledgement

To anybody who bothered to take even half a moment to look, the relentless abuse was as clear as day.

The flinches when anyone, even a close friend, would move toward the willowy girl a little too quickly, the way her social life had slowly dwindled away to nothing because she had to be home to keep her partner happy. The badly applied concealer to cover up the marks that peppered her pale skin, because when everyone else was discovering boys and all of the finest makeup tricks, Peridot was too busy trying to figure out just what the hell was so wrong with her that she wasn't like the others. No matter how she tried to mix and apply products to hide the ugly bruises, the obvious splotches of makeup only worked to make the injured areas stand out even more, if that was at all possible. Hell, even finding makeup fair enough to match her skin tone was a blessing, seeing as how she'd grown to develop the completion and temperament of some sort of cave fish. In the past five months, she'd gone through three pairs of glasses, discarding the twisted frames with cracked lenses without a word. She was too smart to pitch a fit about having to go out to buy replacements. The one responsible for their destruction would always pick up the bill anyway, despite the fact that she never outright meant to damage them. They were just in the way, is all.

• • • • •

The early days were just short of blissful. She'd met the slightly older woman at one of Beach City's more prominent clubs. It wasn't generally Peridot's usual scene, but a friend had begged and she was a pushover. From the moment they passed through the doors, the bouncer caught her eye. Taller than even Peri, her hair was a shade of blonde that bordered on simply being white. Amber eyes shone with playful delight as she flashed a knowing grin at the girl, who was visibly out of her element. The aforementioned friend being Peridot's only ride home, she was forced to stick around until the place closed for the night- or rather, the morning. Now off duty, the same guard who had smiled at her before approached the tinier blonde with a confident smile and a saunter.

Her name was Jasper. Within the month, the two were dating and Peridot seemed to spend more time at her house than at her own pitifully small apartment. She liked having the wiry young woman around, even when she really didn't have much reason to be there. Even when she really should have been working, because even when the older of the two wanted to spoil her there was still rent to be paid, even when going back to her own home started to feel foreign and strange.

Looking back, the green eyed girl wasn't sure what had her so head over heels for the brute in the first place. Most likely, it was her fierce independence and refusal to take crap from anyone at all. From an early age, the younger of the two had been taught to keep quiet and do as she was told, lest one of her parents remind her of her place in the family. While she retained a sharp mouth and wit among friends, any act of authority had her shying away with her tail between her legs. That, coupled with how she was treated all throughout high school for not fitting the status quo, created a young woman who held Jasper's ability to take what she wanted in the highest esteem. And lord, if Jasper could do one thing and one thing only, it was take what she wanted.


	2. Perfect Little Punching Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we take a closer look at the life that Peridot and Jasper share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THESE NOTES.
> 
> there's a dubcon scene in here. don't read it if you don't think you can. I don't want anyone doing anything safe or feeling all too terrible.

The sliding metal sound of the door being unlocked and the knob turned signaled Jasper's return home from work, making Peridot's muscles stiffen reflexively. Preemptively. Absently, tired green eyes flickered to the wall clock. She'd been tinkering with the same damn computer for so long that she smelled faintly of ozone and had rendered her sense of time practically useless.

6:34 in the morning. The club closed at 4:00 and was really only a stone's throw from where the two women lived.

Although she was aware of her girlfriend's arrival, Peridot didn't move from her spot on the floor, perched on her knees surrounded by the remains of a recently slain PC. She was being paid to fix it, and after ruling out any major software issues, it was on to checking the hardware. When a pair of large hands came down on her hands, she flinched, tensing up even further with a jolt. A moment later, Jasper's chin was on her shoulder and she was speaking in that rough, teasing purr that rumbled in her chest and had helped draw the smaller in when they'd just begun the game of flirting. The scent of tobacco and strong perfume clung to her skin and hair. _Lord, for someone as big as she is, she moves almost silently when she wants._

"Good morning, sweet girl," the older of the two murmured, nuzzling into her partner's neck in a way that produced a full body shudder.

In a weak voice already hinting at defeat, the beanpole of a girl found herself muttering, "You smell like cigarettes."

Jasper shrugged. "I swear, once the smell gets into something, it won't come out for nothin'."

Looking down at the floor and the bits of computer scattered in front of her, she mumbled, "You don't smoke."

There was a dark chuckle and then she was gone as soon as she had arrived, leaving Peridot to her work. With a dreary sigh, she allowed her shoulders to slump weakly and turned her attention back to the array of parts strewn around her knees. Sometimes she wished the arguably tactless woman would at least make some semblance of an effort to hide her infidelity. Now was one of those times. She couldn't say anything about it, because what was there to say? It hurt her feelings? It's disrespectful? Jasper couldn't care less about respect more often than not, save for whether or not she was respected.

The cupboards were fairly bare. Peri should have gone shopping a day or two ago, but a nasty bruise produced by an unfortunate collision with their wooden headboard that coloured her cheekbone a brownish shade of purple was keeping her cooped up inside until it faded a bit. Nevertheless, the sounds of rummaging and the hum of the borderline ancient microwave told her that something had proved appetizing enough. Though, she reasoned, after working a full night shift, anything even vaguely edible would look pretty enticing. The sounds of a meal being prepared reminded the already too-skinny girl that she hadn't fed herself in a while either, due to being too absorbed in her own work. On auto-pilot, she picked herself off the floor and carried herself into the kitchen, moving quietly on the balls of her feet in a beeline for the cabinet that housed her seemingly bottomless stash of granola bars. After selecting one and tearing open the wrapper, she plopped down at the table across from Jasper, who'd found and warmed up some pasta dish Peridot didn't remember having in the house. They ate in silence, which was the norm unless they were both having a particularly good day. The smaller blonde was hungrier than she had originally thought, and was done first.

After finishing, standing, and depositing her dish into the sink, Jasper turned to her partner and stated plainly, "I'm going to shower. Come on." She motioned for her companion to follow then.

"Jasp, I-"

" _Come on._ " She was more stern the second time, with a threatening gleam in her eyes that told the smaller girl that it would be easier to comply than to risk an argument. This time, there was no back talk.

The hot water beating down on their backs was a welcome, calming sensation to both women, but the serenity was short lived. As soon as they'd both finished the task of cleaning off, Peridot's wrists were seized and she was pinned up to the tiled wall of the shower stall, her girlfriend's grip firm and ungiving like a vice as lips and teeth were dragged over the shorter girl's throat, along her collarbone, all the while emitting a sharp, possessive growl. As a knee was slipped between slick thighs to hold her in place while she squirmed and produced soft whimpers, she fought with herself to allow her body to slacken. It was always so much harder when she remained stiff and tense.

In many ways, their interactions were like a dance of some sort, where Jasper led and her partner simply let herself be guided and tried to keep from stepping on the slightly older woman's toes. When Jasper grew bored, one of Peri's wrists was passed over to meet its twin so that both could be held by one hand as the other worked over her almost scrawny form, running along pale skin already branded with the darkened marks of earlier dances. She didn't mind these ones nearly as much as the ones that were known to pepper her arms and occasionally her face. Those ones were the product of anger. These, she explained to herself on more than one occasion, were made from intimacy, from passion. They stung, and to her the sting was a reminder that she was wanted.

Inevitably, no matter how much Jasper enjoyed teasing the girl until she whined and begged despite herself, she would once again grow bored. Her little blonde you would be forced down by the shoulders to use the smart mouth that so often got her in trouble to appease the brash woman instead. It was part of their morning clockwork, as was the backhanded compliment uttered between contented groans. On this day, it was, "You really are a cute little dyke, you know that?" spoken while strong fingers hooked into Peridot's short, choppy locks. One the one clearly in charge had been shown the affection she desired and played with her domestic pet of a girlfriend, she would cut the water and toss a towel to the younger woman, then take one for herself as her partner, always a little dazed, rubbed the moisture from her hair with unsteady hands. In no less than fifteen minutes, both girls were dried and dressed.

While Jasper lounged, tired from a night of keeping the peace at her workplace, her green-eyes companion rummaged through the contents of a drawer in the steamy bathroom, producing a small bottle made from translucent orange plastic that gave off a distinctive rattle when she moved it. _Shit_. She hadn't meant to be so loud.

Before Peridot had a moment to curse herself for not applying the proper amount of stealth it took to hide things from her, the taller woman materialized at the doorway, a dissatisfied sneer resting on her full lips. For a moment, the girl that had given up on religion entirely for a more scientific approach on life considered praying.

Voice low and threatening, as it nearly always was when she wasn't pleased, she inquired, "I thought you didn't need that Paxil junk anymore. What gives?" She cocked an eyebrow like she was genuinely curious.

Grip tightening around the tiny container as her pulse quickened, she replied meekly, "I tried to get off 'em once, but then I was right back where I started. Neither one of us wants me to be miserable all the time." Technically the truth, despite the actions of the broad-shouldered, honey-eyed woman. "I'm healthier like this, J." She offered a small, pleading smile. Reasoning could work this time, if she presented the facts in a calm, serious manner. Anyone could be reasoned with.

Wrong answer. The bigger of the two had her hand clamped around the wrist of the hand that held the medication, stiff and as unmoving as stone. "I thought I made you happy, sweetheart. After all, _I_ took you in so you don't have to live in that trashy apartment, and _I_ spoil you with all those cute clothes you like to wear. _I'm_ the one with the real job. You can be happy without stupid meds. I do it, so does everyone else." Her tone had deteriorated so somewhat of a snarl, sending chills down the smaller blonde's spine, and her hold on the arguably frail girl's wrist had grown steadily tighter with every phrase until her knuckles had paled to white and her lover bit back a yelp. She'd been trained to submit to Jasper's authority, but she wouldn't cry out and give her that, a shred of her tattered pride shining through. When the bottle was released and clattered to the hard floor, a kick sent it skittering away out of sight.

Empty hand grasping at air, Peridot nodded frantically and sputtered, "Alright! No meds, no meds is fine." As soon as her arm was freed, her other hand flew to the site of injury to cautiously rub and prod at the flesh. No fractures to the carpals or major muscle damage that she could detect, just a few days of discomfort. Over the past few months, she'd become somewhat of an expert at identifying how bad an injury was going to be. A soft sigh of relief slipped from between thin lips, brought on by how grateful she was that she wouldn't have to slip on a brace this time. She had Jasper to thank for that.

As if nothing had happened, she tucked away the confrontation and followed her partner to bed. Holding onto things could just create more trouble, so she'd adopted a policy of dropping things in an effort to keep her happy. The taller girl was sweet on her better days, all full-body snuggles and kisses to anywhere she could find.

Peridot wouldn't sleep the whole time the other would, but fitting in a quick nap when the bouncer came home from work had become instinct. The larger slept like a log, sprawling across the mattress effectively dead to the world while her girlfriend curled up at her side, leeching for warmth because she found herself almost perpetually chilly. When the two were all comfortable and wrapped up, the lanky blonde nuzzled into her partner's side.

"G'night, Jasper. I love you. Sorry I was kinda difficult." Her voice was soft and sincere, with no trace of distrust or malice. She'd trained herself in the art of keeping her tone light and even, preventing arguments that didn't need to happen.

"Goodnight, babe."

When she was positive that the person snoring softly at her side was fully asleep, Peridot allowed herself to come unhinged as she hugged her knees and wept as quietly as she could manage.


End file.
